thoughts: 6-25-10

these small gaps have consistently grown into deep chasms. i've pushed and i've pulled myself away from so many. labeling has proven to be an issue:

is this rash or justified?

is this newfound intolerance selfish or mature?

i feel like a child without object permanence. with my eyes closed the world can't see me. i'm hidden.

my vulnerability disappears for a split second.

when my eyelids begin to peek open, the weight of my surroundings flood me. quickly i return to my hiding place, but it lingers like the flash of a camera.

caught.

you caught my eye with your color and fresh simplicity.

you caught my ear with your contagious laughter and quick wit.

you caught my attention with your oddities and carefree quirks.

you caught my interest with your obsessions and overflowing thoughtfulness.

careful, you are about to catch my heart.

adulthood.

saying goodbye to my teenage years soon. i guess it's time to be mature.

redredred.

i've always been proud of my virgin hair color

(and terrified to dye it).

but now i'm craving this change.

crazy? perhaps.

maybe i'll find the guts to actually do it.

snowboarding

fat, painful bruises
plastered smiles
cursing, cursing, cursing
panicking fear
blinding white
ice, powder, slush
soothing voices
click-clicking of bindings
rickety chairs
too high! too high!
speed
adrenaline
ouch.
new found love.