my day.

5am wake up call.

austen's persuasion.

vivacious laughter with new friends (senior men's club tennis).

daddy's sweatshirt.

piano please.

hours upon hours of closet organization.

puppy play time.

sing sing sing.

musical therapy.

perfection.

new walking shoes.

i'm not allowed to miss you.
a few split seconds must satisfy me,
i'm forbidden more.
my heart beats louder and louder still
praying that maybe you'll notice.
just a glance is all i need,
basic survival needs right?
the peripheral stuff (love and attention) is
unnecessary.
hearts grow accustomed, kind of like new walking shoes.
so please, dont give me more than a glance
i'm not allowed to miss you for more.

train ride 2-9-10

i'm a fearful creature.

a wild thing lurking through the dark underbrush.

eyes wideset in fear and disillusion

a barrier stands.

fortressing me in, in, in.

there's safety here (pleads my consciousness).

truths and falsities pour out of your lips so easily,

where's the distinction?

quote obsessed.

You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

today

i am halfway done with college.

and it feels good.